The Half Arsed Traveller: 2015-07-05: Variety is the Spice of Life

201st Post. I would like to promise I'll make this one a gem. Or I could reset your expectations nice and low so I can build from there. Or I could just write my normal nonsense and say I did one of those things. That seems easier.

Third Place: Demure and Dressed Nicely, Notable mention for the hat. Only one horse though.

In the past it has often seemed that things I like go out of business if I stop supporting them. Granted many of these things are bars and so there is a certain amount of logic to the observation as I am a Charming (and Regular) Regular.
Our sojourn to the Rockies did not put The Stampede out of business. We watched the Carriage driving and the Trick riding bits. We know nothing about either of these events but fortunately the trick riding was just a demonstration. The Carriage driving was easier to work out how to judge.

Second Place: 6 horsies with lots of shiny, outfits don't match the spirit though.

Activity Review: Carriage Driving Judging

There are many opinions on exactly how Carriage Driving should be judged. They are mostly wrong. Unfortunately even those that are correct are implemented by judges that don't quite understand how to do it correctly. As a result sometimes the proper winner is not selected.
As a service to the world I will explain the correct judging technique.

1. Horsies must have tassles and shiny bits but not too tacky.
2. More horsies beats equally good fewer horsies
3. Drivers must have facial expressions matching their clothing
4. Character defined by the clothing is the only important bit really. If you look like Clint Eastwood in High Plains Drifter but act like Clint Eastwood in Paint Your Wagon you will lose.

First Place: 8 horsies, lots of shiny, evil black clothes with matching black hat and black carriage and the demeanour of the nasty Landowner

Rating: 10/10 (The world will be a better place when it catches up with our judging rules)

Once we got over our annoyance at the incorrect awarding of places in the Carriage Driving competition we watched the less infuriation trick riding demonstration.

Shiny Horse Shiny Outfit! We got a speech on the importance of shiny.

Trick riding is pretty enough to watch. Trick riding has lots of specialised equipment. Detailed descriptions of this equipment are quite boring to listen to. Trick riding is something you should never ever try at home without a certified instructor. They seem to think this can't be stressed enough.

I think they would have lost points for non matching outfits.

I beg to differ and feel that a single mention of this would be fine. I also wonder why they gave us reasonable descriptions of how to do the trick if we aren't allowed to do it.

Something got stuck on your horsies tail, I am sure it can be surgically removed.

If we get to a ranch I may have to try some of the thing they mentioned. It won't be at home and I won't have the specialised equipment so no one will crap on endlessly about the specialised equipment.

Oh dear, the dreaded Artistic Child pose. There was no speech stating this as a requirement. Last place.

Actually of course the young Ladies were all very physically flexible so I probably won't give it a try. I am flexible in many ways; morals, eating patterns, televisual preferences etc but physical flexibility is not something that has fallen within my purview in some time.

Food & Beverage Review: Doing It Wrong

There are some combinations in life which seem odd at first but turn out to be great. Ham and Pineapple is one and I like to hope that The Elvis Sandwich is another but have not had the chance to try it.

It was small at least and the beers were big

When I do I hope it won't be like the burger pizza. The burger pizza is not a good idea.
If I ever start a company selling burger pizzas I will have to figure out a way to conceal the lack of greatness. I guess that is what marketing is for.

So cold you can't taste the awfulness