2015-07-01: Childlike Wonder

Lots of place have The Biggest xxxxx In The World. I often wonder how they measure these things. Nagoya has The Biggest Shopping Centre In The World. Sao Paolo has The Biggest Bus Station In The World. Edmonton has The Biggest Shopping Mall In The World.

Hurricane Simulator, Attempts to make that Flappy Dog Mouth out the Car Window failed.

I am happy to let the Mall / Shopping Centre difference mean I can believe them all.

Grip tester. Jokes about testicles and placement thereof could be made.

We attempted to contact the Local Naginata club to see if we could train with them. We (I) had kind of neglected to factor Canada Day into our plans. Canadians are quite patriotic it seems.
We went to the mall instead.

I am a sucker for these jumping water things. I want a little one for home. They don't sell them.

It is indeed an exceptionally large shopping mall. We are indeed exceptionally bad shoppers.
This has been proved repeatedly over the years. The phrase Military Efficiency has been used. Usually sarcastically.

We hope that the biggest mall in the world might inspire us to actually buy something.

Wave pool. No swimming costume. Not sad enough about that to buy a new one.

Water Slides! With Xtreme angles! No Swimming Costume. Now Sad! Considering buying swimming costume.

The mall eschewed the Learning Through Fun concept which has ruined so many entertainments for me in the past. Yet somehow I did learn something. I am an Inquisitive (And Brave) Man.

Full Size Pirate Ship! The local Naginata guy has an eyepatch. I couldn't see him here. Probably busy at the water slide.

I learned that Ewa has never been on a roller coaster.

Colours And Spinning!

Worlds Biggest Indoor Roller Coaster. I am sure this is measured with caveats.

We rectified this. I think this counts as buying something. I hope so otherwise we failed at shopping again.

The terror faded and now there is a desire for More Excitement! More!

In the scheme of things we probably don't count as buying anything though. At the casino upstairs Alastair put some coins in. He won a few spins and I pointed out he had now won $25. He cashed out and we left the mall cash positive I think. We have decided if we go to Vegas we will use this system.

We should have bought me some eyeliner tattoos. Both to be good consumers and to bring out my dreamy blue eyes.

One day we will learn this shopping thing. There are many other things to learn first though.

Learning to play ice hockey properly would be good.

The Everyone Cluster Around the Ball tactic was one I used when I was a kiddie playing football. Apparently it is a valid tactic for ice hockey kiddies as well.

Lord Voldemort has an incognito son, Voldemort has disowned him for trying to follow his dream of being a professional hockey player. I think that is picky of him. Hockey is plenty evil and chaotic.

We will go to Calgary and learn to be cowboys.

Sign Review: Edmonton Smoke Shop

No Smoking sign and the office is for a doctor that offers smoking cessation programs.

Rating: 7/10 (I like having all the options open)