The Half Arsed Traveller: 2015-01-16: Musings & Tourism done Right

Yesterday the Swiss franc went crazy and appreciated 30% in an hour. I didn't notice this or know why as I was watching children's cartoons (great way of increasing vocab). However I read a bit about what was going on (it's kind of boring to people that wouldn't have already read up on it). I sent Piotr a congratulatory mail. He works in Zurich and so in the space of an hour all his savings had gone up 30% in "value" and he got a 30% pay raise at the same time.
He replied that sadly he gets paid in Euro and his job is now less attractive as his cost of living just went up 30%.

Looked like trompe l'oeil but was just netting

It got me thinking. Ewa only had a bank account in British pounds when we got here. I know a few people with home loans etc in Euro. Obviously there are people getting paid in currencies other than what they buy their daily beer with.
I am in the same boat as most of my clients are paying in AUD or SGD and my life is unlikely to use either of those currencies in the foreseeable future. I have spent a lot of time thinking about how to hedge my risks around this. Most of the solutions are somewhat tricky and require quite a bit of effort to maintain.

Anyway.

Food and Beverage review: Restauracja Ogniem i Mieczem (Restaurant of Fire and Sword)

http://www.ogniemimieczem.pl/index_en.html

Sign is spelled wrong

We took the Wild Walnut Woman of Krakow out to lunch with her friend. This was a revisit of a place we went to last time.

The Hussar is still in the corner

and still cool menus

Partly because we loved it last time and partly because we know the portions are huge and this will be Ewa's revenge plan on the Wild Walnut Woman. Force us to eat constantly will you? bam! gotcha.

Really good smalec

Really good meat (best Golongka by far)

It is a tourist place I assume however it is a few blocks away from the centre and the majority of google reviews are from Poles, so again I figure "internal tourists". Place is all done up in medieval style, lots of wooden stuff and candles.

Vodka gets a metal tray because it is important

Not a place to enter without a desire to eat a lot. However, as The Wild Walnut Woman's friend told me "this vodka is very good for after eating a lot". So, bonus!

I think they are aimed at the student area over the bridge.

That looks like a variation of the Białystok coat of arms. Must remember to check this.

And it has a nativity scene in the front yard as well. Given the facial expressions of Joseph and Mary it really looks like they are being civil just because the 3 guests turned up but as soon as they are gone the argument will rage again.

I would dump the presents and get the hell out

Certainly by local standards it is not a cheap restaurant but at about $100 for 4 people I don't think you can complain really. And the food really is head and shoulders above anywhere else we have had traditional style food.

Lots of animals

Rating: 10/10

We didn't drink enough vodka to cure ourselves from too much food so we strolled the city for a bit.

Tourist Checklist: Little Father Bernard's Footbridge

http://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g274772-d4065020-Reviews-Lovers_Bridge_Little_Father_Bernard_s_Footbridge-Krakow_Lesser_Poland_Province_So.html

Looks like maybe 30kg of locks, if bridges fall down because of that I am worried about the state of modern design.

This is one of those bridges people put padlocks on to symbolise their love. The reviews are full of the soulless people talking about the weight and stress on the bridge. Krakow has tons of bridges, they can afford to sacrifice one to love dammit.

I hope Milan is a guys name

My favourite review of this place is "This bridge would be fine, if it were not covered in cheap rusty old locks, which make it look terrible and deeply tacky." Sounds to me like an architecture student that hasn't got laid in a long time.

My favourite was the bike lock, probably just some guy that leaves his bike here each day

Rating: 5/10 (if you are walking past may as well look, if you are an architecture student I guess try and feel superior [but oh so alone])

As the bridge was only a few minutes of distraction and trip advisor had little else of interest in Krakow we came up with our own walking tour of Krakow. We visited every sex shop between the restaurant and the train station.

Tourist Checklist: Sex Shop Tour

Classy logo.

No one let me take photos inside. pffft prudes.

I liked that all of them had significant space allocated to "Sexy Clothes for Ladies". I would estimate 75% of the space was for that.

Had all red lighting inside. Pretty sure this is backwards

Then about 10% for the normal gag gifts, from what I can tell having sex with pigs is the joke here (rather than sheep).

And there was about 10% allocated to Lonely Architecture students. Pumps, eggs and fleshlights. I am not sure what that says about the values of Polish society but I will note that the Architecture student was from the UK.

My Favourite! Firma Center? oh the wordplay.

Plus it was in an alley which made it feel seedier. But it was closed.

The demographics were interesting as well. I'd guess 80% female patrons. At one of the places there was a couple and the guy was obviously embarrassed by being there whilst the girl was shopping with determination.

Smelt funny but did have a little old lady buying a fishnet body stocking

Ewa doesn't even have the Catholic shame to look embarrassed

The problem with spending an hour or two walking around looking for sex shops is that your brain warps a little (even more than usual).