The Half Arsed Traveller: 2015-01-15: Revisiting the Classics, finding something new.

Way back last week we said we had seen all the attractions in Krakow and were promptly hustled off to a village. It got me thinking; was that an ignorant comment? I certainly haven't researched what Krakow has available.

Mostly I just see things that are neat and hope my camera is faintly up to date with GPS in case I ever need to go back.

So I jumped on tripadvisor and hunted through the attractions. Sure enough we have seen most of the top 50 things (if you count all churches as a single attraction - which I do. One church per city is normally enough for me).

Of course some could argue that bars are my church, in which case I like to check them all.

Plus we have seen lots of cool stuff like the candy shop which wasn't on the list. I didn't see any of the fun things like go karts or laser tag either.

But a Bar Mleczny with a christmas tree is just so counter everything that Bar Mleczny's stand for

Not a single bar or food recommendation worth paying attention to. Most tourists take their touristing seriously I guess.

Tourist Checklist: Observational Stuff

Some of the coolest stuff is hard to see. Even when it is right in front of you.
Just before we left Sydney there was a pretty decent size storm which knocked out power to the suburb. We were driving at the time and with the lights out the intersections became terrifying. No one knew exactly what to do and it was kind of chaotic.

Smooth flow

Poles often complain about their volume of street signs. Often there will be three or four signs all saying the same thing. But at a busy intersection in Krakow where the lights went out things were normal and it took Ewa pointing out that the lights were dead for me to even fully comprehend the situation. The signs give instructions for such situations.

Of course some attractions don't require that much analysis.

Rating: 3/10 (I live for the adrenalin and terror caused by an Intersection Of Fear)

Apparently our departure ruined the local economy of snow, meat and hot wine. Ewa was hoping to have some hot cheese as well due to our forgetfulness in the mountains. This was also no longer present.

Not a single platter of Kashanka (groats and blood sausage) to be found. Mushrooms & potatoes notably not there. Even this barrel wasn't there anymore. I miss that barrel.

The market square is now bereft of all three. Seems to be doing a reasonable trade in drunks / beggars though. We stopped for a beer at one of the outdoor seating places and the reduced number of tourists meant that we attracted people asking for cigarettes and money to a level which was annoying.

Still pretty but a shallow husk of an attraction now

We walked around moping for a bit. Maybe next time we should tell them when we will be back so they keep the snow and food and wine ready for our return. Last time we left and didn't come back for two years so I guess we have no right to expect them to wait like a faithful puppy.

The small market inside the central building is still there and I found the coat of arms of my adopted city. It has a horse, I have chosen adopted cities well.

Then decided to wander over to the Jewish quarter where they have good zapiekanka. Plus a neat little bar we went to last time. I hoped it hadn't gone out of business.

The horsies were dressed up fancier but it just didn't make up for the missing elements

Food and Beverage Review: Zapiekanka, Kazimierz

Zapiekanka is the "polish pizza". In the little square on Ulice Ester there is a cluster of 5 or 6 zapiekanka places in a round building. We always go to the one second last clockwise.

Poles have pizza but no real pride in it. Zapiekanka they have pride, opinions and arguments about. Last time we couldn't find the damn place for ages and wandered through the back streets a bit. This time we did the same.

Ewa asked a couple of student looking types for directions and they didn't know so they must have been out of town student types.

Smug. More knowledgeable than out of town students.

A good zapiekanka is basically a split baguette with pizza like topping options (as interpreted by Poles) which is grilled til the cheese melts and the bread gets a slight crunch. Then a good covering of sauce.

Poland has 1 złoty coins. This is 0.3 cents. I believe by law all prices must encourage these coins being involved in the transaction.

We went Mountain Style (mountain cheese [double], pepperoni, garlic sauce and spicy sauce). We also sensibly split one between us. 9.90 zloty. Definitely student / drunk guy pricing. This might count as having eaten hot cheese but I doubt it.

Rating: 6.5/10 (Best when the weather is cold, you are really hungry and poor)

Last time we came here it was raining. The pub across the road (Alchemia, http://www.local-life.com/krakow/pubs/62-Alchemia, Corner of Plac Nowy and Ulice Estery - go there) let us in with our zapiekanka.

This photo has the names of two streets. I should be able to find this in future.

Today it was nice weather but they still let us in. This is the bar with the wardrobe in the corner which lets you into the smoking rooms (See the Polish Pilgrimage day 18 here https://sites.google.com/site/thehalfarsedtraveller/) . I love this bar.

Bar is cool, it has lots of cans of different teas which bearded cool kids comb through looking for the perfect brew to match their current vibe (or something). It also has a couple of good scotches. I got Oban while a hip young fellow considered the pros and cons of Pekoe tea and the barman ignored him.

Meanwhile we sit drinking Książęce Czerwony (on tap, yes!) in the secret dark rooms, we win.

In my mind it is the prototype of all the faux distressed hipster type bars I see around the place. Certainly there were more cool kids in here than last time but they are still outnumbered by beardless, overweight normal people that don't have a fixie bike outside.

Just your normal everyday boring old fridge full of vodka at the supermarket.

Ewa has been seduced to the dark side of Polish Ladyness. She has made sandwiches two nights in a row, both times waiting til I am tired and weak. Tonight she suggested more food when I finished the first plate of sandwiches... I am hoping she is fighting the system from within otherwise I will become some kind of michelin man.


A lady at the supermarket was sniffing these like they were fruit. This is not typical Polish behaviour.

Food and Beverage Review: Pijalnia Wódki i Piwa (Vodka and Beer Room)

This is on the same block as Alchemia opposite the Zapiekanka circle building Google maps is being weird and I disagree with the addresses it gives me plus the street view is out of date.

Name the place what it is and I will probably keep up.

There has been much disparagement of Warsaw in comparison to Krakow by Ewa. Warsaw does have one thing going for it though and that is the Przekąski Zakąski places. They are bars which have one type of beer, one of vodka and several small plates of food, all at very low prices and usually open all night. Popular with everyone although the clientèle base changes over the course of the evening / morning. We spent some 12 hours in one once. Great fun.

TV was funny, flatscreen mounted in an old wooden chassis.

This bar is a similar idea. It is wallpapered with newspapers from the 60's and is much more in the vein of a modern cool kids bar. It did have some grumpy locals as well as bright shiny students though so I am okay with it.

New haircut but still a master of blinking in perfect time with the shutter

Has a range of shots with cool names like "Vicious dog" and some of the standard dishes have cool names too, smalec is called "surprise". The smalec wasn't super great so I am not sure what the surprise was.

The Jellied Pork was inhaled and so must have been good.

All things being equal the prices were good and the food was acceptable to good. Service was a little slow but that could have been because we were there quite early and maybe they hadn't prepped hundreds of the small plates for dinner (like the Warsaw ones do).

Bottles of milk are nostalgic now. I am old.

I also suspect that by having cool shots which require work they are hurting themselves for speed. Maybe that is needed for the modern generation of students though. Certainly it is good to see this kind of place opening here.