The Half Arsed Traveller: 2015-01-09: Highland dancing

I have new socks and new boots. I tried the socks out by going skiing.

In case someone tries to shoot me in the feet.

I did pretty good at skiing. I managed to fall over in a different way each time. The instructor was impressed at my versatility. Ewa can ski so she only fell over once and that was because she got bored watching me fall over.

Sexy Ski Pose #1

Skiing was fun and I think a few more goes at it and I will be able to go down the slopes without engendering a sense of terror in those around me. As usual with me I tried to learn by testing to destruction. The instructor had to keep telling me to go slower and do things slower. Plus relaxing was pretty high on his list of things I ought to keep in mind. My Naginata sensei would have commiserated with him as I think we spent 6 months where training was him saying "relax" me saying "like this" and him saying "no".

I looked the part at the beginning, at the end not so much

Afterwards we went for a beer and vodka at The Bar With Sugar Cookies. They short-changed me by not bringing me my vodka

Sugar cookies, no vodka, sad sam.

I ordered another and then noticed they had brought my initial vodka, it was in my beer. That is also why I had been given a straw. Normally Ladies have straws for their beer, not men.

Always the last place you look. I guess no one keeps looking after finding the thing they are looking for though.

This extra bit of vodka made the stroll home quite pleasant, warm dry bulletproof feet and bonus vodka.

I knew I wasn't seeing things.

Traveling Advice: Gifts

People like to give gifts to people that have been welcoming. My new views on material possessions made me forget this. With Japan next on the country list this is even more important as the tradition of giving little presents is really popular there. They call it omayagi from memory but I am an idiot and always remember it as gomi (which means rubbish).

Probably gifts for specific people

We had a brilliant idea.
If you give gifts from the last place you were in they will be reasonably well received and you can buy them and ship them to the next place you are going. How well this works out remains to be seen but it feels smart.

Rating: 9/10 (untested)

Evening Adventure time!

Tourist Checklist: Kuligi

Ewa promised me a sleigh ride. This is called Kuligi. Hot wine is important on these.

The hot wine (grzaniec) is so important that measurements are commonly spelled out on the posters.

We caught a bus out to the forest with about 20 other people and jumped in our sleighs with burning torches to ride up the mountain.

Our sleigh

The couple sharing with us were here for a romantic weekend, they are from the northern coast. We rubbed legs the whole way. Not sure that was the romance he was after.

The horse behind us wanted in on the romance.

Fire in a snowy field.

We got to the field where we would have our hot wine and kielbasa. the snow was really coming down. To warm up Ewa and I danced merry jigs in the snow in front of the traditional band that were playing. This was tiring but did push my "steps taken" count very high. It says I ran 180 of my steps for today.

I roast sausages good.

It was a pleasant enough evening thus far but hadn't really done anything to stand out as a must do experience. Then the local Highlander guy started the traditional Highland drinking games with his traditional Highland home distilled vodka.

Game one: we all hold a ski with shots on it and drink the shots without hands. Repeatadly. There were points for not dropping the shotglass and ensuring it was empty. Our team won.

The rules were somewhat ambiguous and my translator got worse as the evening went on

He is the Driver. He is sad. Poles don't like spectating at drinking games.

This team were useless.

Then we played the traditional "have a shot pass the bottle" drinking game. This one had fewer rules. PersonB says "Na zdrowie". PersonA pours a shot says "something long in polish", drinks, shakes the shot glass dry and passes the bottle and glass to PersonB who turns expectantly to PersonC and the process repeats.

He explained them anyway

I practiced a few times but never got the second word right. Fortunately there was no scoring.

Ewa didn't get the word right and needed to practice as well.

After these games everyone was social lubricated and it was time for the dancing. First dress all the Ladies up as eligible bachelorettes. Then choose a jury (I volunteered, I like giving things ratings).

The members of the jury dance towards the band, insult one of the musicians, sing a song, turn and dance (no touching) with the Lady of their choice, then it gets tricky. The juror dances on one foot slapping the other foot in front and behind while the Lady spins.

I insulted the cello player, you can see the pain in his eyes

When she is suitably dizzy you dance together holding hands and looking into each others eyes.
This was principle anyway. I may have added some non traditional elements. After a few days with children's educational videos playing I am surprised that the song I sung wasn't "The wheels on the bus go round and round". That thing is stuck in my head.

I am assured that what happens in the mountains stays in the mountains

Departure time

Then we all had a big group dance and went home. I believe I did not get married to anyone.

When home I found a spare ticket for more mulled wine. We must have had a lot of that vodka.