2014-12-23: Xmas preparations, Pt 2.

Wandering the streets today with Ewa's Brazilian brother in law we were discussing Polish and how much fun it is to learn.

Dental Ninjas Don't Use Anaesthetic

Travelling Advice: How to Learn Languages

This is how I am approaching learning Polish and therefore it is perfect method for everyone.

• Ask a native speaker roughly what age children become worth talking to. Provided you are not talking to a misanthrope like me ("ummm I guess mid twenties but even then probably not") you will have answer which gives you a rough time frame to work to. For Polish about 8 years old. This is my target time frame.
• Get a language parent. This is someone that will guide you through the learning process. Their job is to correct you and encourage you.
• Unleash your childlike curiosity. Look at everything with no filters. A white stone on the ground is every bit as exciting as a flaming cow being ridden by a monocled monkey.
• Remove your inner monologue. Processing your sensory input quietly and attempting to reach a balanced and reasoned opinion will encourage you to be quiet, you need to use the language to learn to use the language.

When Ewa and I walk down the street every time I see something I know the name of I say the name.
When I see a sign I try to read it aloud and guess what it means.

Sometimes I have to interrupt Ewa's discussions with other people. At times she ignores me so I pull at her clothing until she gives up being distracted by, for example, her sister that just arrived. They saw each other 2 years ago, how much could have happened in that time? My inner 5 yr olds determination to correctly pronounce "White. Stick." wins over her grown up filters. I don't care if I have to say it 100 times to get it right. Sometimes I have to make it into a song so I will remember it. then I walk along singing the song until the word is stuck in my head. "White stick, White stick, whiiiiiiiiite stick, sticky sticky stick. white white white. white stick, stick white, white white white"

To jest nie mleko, mleko mleko mleko, nie nie nie...

Another useful trick is to include experimenting with the world. Just because you understand the world in your home country doesn't mean that things are the same here. Learn the culture the way a child does. Through play and trial and error. Maybe Polish people like strawberry yoghurt in their morning coffee. If they don't you learn the words for "not" and "milk" and the running away from your language parent will raise your heart rate which will accelerate learning.

Rating: 10/10 obviously. (Just don't get a language parent that believes regular beatings are a good teaching method.)

Today we continued our shopping and actually succeeded in purchasing all the gifts required. Shopping malls are an interesting place to see aspects of a culture because we all have a platonic ideal of a shopping mall in our minds and the differences stand out clearly.

They are seriously big boobs.

Cultural Observations: Lingerie and its place in society

Normal lingerie shops here often have mannequins with porn star size boobs. Sexy lingerie shops usually have small boobed mannequins (who appear to be very cold). Apparently this is because big boobs are a "mother" thing. Having boobs the size of footballs in the window advertises the wholesome nature of your lingerie shop.

It's okay Officer, I am taking photos for cultural reasons

Rating: 9/10 (-3 if Oedipal complexes are common in Poland)

The malls here are a lot quieter than 2 years ago. Also the dress sense of the guys has changed drastically. The women were dressed very stylishly last time and generally speaking still are. 2 years ago I saw a guy that had made some kind of effort towards a hairstyle and I noticed. It stood out. This time almost all the guys have some kind of style going on. The car parks for the malls are completely full despite the low numbers of people.

We suspect that all these are because the only people at the mall are people that have disposable income. The people that would walk or catch a bus to the mall aren't there. Ewa is worried that perhaps the economic situation here is much worse than it looks on the surface.

Apex Predator

The house is slowly filling with people arriving for Christmas dinner. Through a combination of increasing human population and hit and run attacks the numerical superiority of the fish in the bathtub has been removed. I feel sure that the Carp Uprising I feared will now be quashed easily and with minimal bloodshed on either side. We'll all be home by Christmas boys.