2014-12-21:Seduction via incompetence, Humiliation via incompetence

Yesterday evening we went shopping for a less warm blanket. In keeping with the observed "Wearing of ski jackets at the mall" Poles apparently like a quilt which is more like a medium thickness mattress than a blanket. I wanted a flannel top sheet. Poles don't like top sheets and are confused by the concept.

I spend a lot of time sounding out words: Chałwa; hhh aww va. Halva! Did not see that coming!

Keep in mind this was an excursion later in the day, after a big dinner, a few grzaniec and with the primary aim being "stay awake until at least 20:00".
We walked up to the counter and I said a cheery "cześć" which means "Hi". Then I remembered it is really informal and only for people you like and are friends with. Having no inner monologue I apologised: "Oh sorry, I can't say that because I don't like you". Then apologised for that by trying to say the polite "Hi" but instead said "Thank you" then tried to fix that by saying "good morning".
She smiled (I claim coquettishly) and said "You can use cześć with me".

I was totally in! Moral of the story; Poles are a forgiving bunch and find tubby, incompetent, blathering fools attractive. They ought to advertise this more.

This one is mine but the mall behind has many more Polish Princesses for those that wish to obtain one

As I already have a Polish Princess I just bought the thin blanket (which did help fix our sleeping patterns and we are now close enough to being in sync with local time. Hurrah.)

I have also set up my dual sim phone and made a little office in the bedroom. I look almost professional. Part of the setup was configuring my virtual machines to use the various connectivity options I have (wired, wireless, 4G, phone sharing). During this I did a little speed testing.

Technology Review: Play 4G pay as you go sim cards

No ID required. 2GB for 20 złoty (AUD$6).

Walk in, grab a couple, pay, slot them in and they just worked on 2 phones, a notebook and a tablet.

Speed testing (ookla speedtest): 
Phone, download 10-20Mbps, upload 15Mbps
Notebook, download 60Mbps, upload 20Mbps

Obviously the numbers fluctuate a bit based on network usage.

As a comparison my Sydney home DSL was max 10Mbps download. I doubt a $6 card in Australia is going to come close to that.

I don't intend to be patronising towards Poland but seriously? Poland?

Poland! Is! Kicking! Australia's! Arse!

(on this measure anyway, I think Australia has better sheets)

Rating: 9/10 embarrassingly cheap, fast and easy. 

 

 

FileName: 2014-12-21_Ewa_Ice_Skating.MTS

Some people claim that skills obtained come back quickly, "like riding a bike". I have often maintained the opposite; if you used to be good at something you will be overconfident and hurt yourself a lot. We went ice skating in Białystok town centre.

 

FileName: 2014-12-21_Sam_Ice_Falling.MTS

Fortunately I was never any good at ice skating so I only hurt myself about as much as the last time I went skating. And all of that pain was to the ego. Ewa has a habit of assuming that when I say I am not very good at something I will actually be good, there is no history which would support this notion. Who can understand a woman's logic? Word of the video spread through the house faster than I could delete it.

Father and Daughter time, a sweet moment perhaps but that coffee was sweeter.

On the bright side I figure with most athletic things the people that are good at them use less energy therefore I had the best workout and therefore deserve booze. QED.

Professional! Even two screens!

Food & Beverage Review: Koreb Miodowe

Honey flavoured beer (it might actually be a proper mead but it has enough bitterness I am going to call it a beer). 
Miod is Polish for mead and for honey:
"Honey? we could ferment that and drink it what other use is there?" 
Poles are alcoholics.

At first I felt bad about my opinion of this drink because I absolutely love the Polish King that told the pope his knights weren't going to the crusade because there was no mead in The Holy Lands. 

He is the king that Sobiesky Vodka is named for:
"Greatest King ever? We have some vodka that needs a name"
Poles are alcoholics.

Anyhow the love of Sobiesky aside this is a flat, overly bitter and metallic beverage. That said I have yet to try a honey flavoured beer that I like. This is not the worst and none are the best.

Rating: 3/10 (+4 if nothing else is available and my ego is bruised)